In conclusion, consider how your disagreement is perceived and whether it opens a necessary and productive dialogue. In general, when you do these homework, you can`t do anything wrong. You should not think of disagreements as things you should win or lose. Sometimes you won`t make it. Sometimes you have to agree to contradict it. Sometimes, on that day or on any given day, you won`t find a solution to your problem. The focus should be on ensuring that you are both understood, that you are meeting your needs, and you are both doing what is best for your relationship. It is not a question of proving who is right. In this excerpt from Why Are We Yelling? Author Buster Benson discusses the approaches that parities must argue with for productive disagreement. But in the long run, the fruits of growth, attachment and enjoyment outweigh the immediate and obvious value of security. In the end, productive differences of opinion make the same or more certain of the other three fruits. Divergent opinions, differing views and conflicting ideas are healthy and at the heart of progress. They broaden our perspectives, broaden our minds and help us find the best strategy and practice possible.
Studies indicate that constructive differences of opinion are extremely important to a team`s success. It increases participation in the disiebe, promotes cooperation, reduces fear and leads to better choices and more creative thinking. If you want the best of your teams to come out, it`s worth establishing a conflicting culture. The fight for safety is a zero-sum game. Because it starts from bad faith, it creates an environment eaten or eaten for disagreements. If I am sure, it means that the other party is weaker than my side, and that the incentive for me is at odds with maintaining this position of superiority. Safety is a rare fruit that is acquired in situations of winning loss. If you are attacked, the fruit of safety is easily the top priority. It is the original and primary fruit of the disagreement, and the one that still obsesses us the most. You get immediate results from enhanced security. This strategy may apply to any disagreement.
By definition, it is the ”safe” option. Before you decide to disagree, take the time to really understand your argument. This may seem obvious, but it is remarkable how many people feel at odds once they feel justified. When those emotions become inevitable – which often happens in conflicts, especially when it`s important – I literally call them, ”Okay, so I`m frustrated right now, and I just want you to know that it`s because it`s because I`m really involved in this conversation.” It is amazing how this type of transparency can take advantage of a disagreement. In many ways, listening is the linchpin of any conflict resolution. If you master this ability, your disagreements immediately become more effective. When it comes to arguments and disagreements, it should never be a question of embarrassing yourself, embarrassing yourself, criticizing each other or punishing each other. Sometimes they are the most satisfying parts, but they do much more than well.
You can`t act like the victim and push your partner to make wheels for your forgiveness. You can`t call, you can`t lay charges, and you can`t be a bully. At least, not if you`re trying to be a mature conflict solver. What you can do is talk things in a friendly way, like someone who really wants to solve a problem instead of just winning an argument. When I really understood the principles of conscious conflict, I finally understood what Emily was doing so well when it came to disagreement. She understood her intentions. She knew her positions. She presented her arguments in a masterful but never emotional way, and she always remained open to a change of attitude, which was easy for her by listening consciously. She always focused on ideas, not people, and her sense of timing was impeccable. The most important thing is that it had a ton of social capital with which it